a condo buyer's rant

well crap. just crap. i feel on the verge of a panic attack. i was tired of creepy land lords, and throwing rent away every month on someone else's mortgage... so in a furry of anger one day at my land lord i started to wonder if i could stop this cycle. i called up a lender, a realtor and asked my parents if they could help me. knowing i would not be able to buy right now with out their help since i do not have a down payment saved. my mom gave me a little money early on, but turns out it costs a lot just to get close to closing. i'm not 2 weeks out, 2 weeks and my lender still hasn't approved the load that was pre-approved a month before i even put in an offer. i was pre-approved for $130,000, and this place i am in love with trying to buy is $45,000 almost a third of my pre-approved loan so why is this proving to be so difficult? it's just breaking my heart that this condo in a converted mansion with a history from prohibition has fallen to disrepair. no one care's for it. to the bank that currently owns the vacant unit, it's just a forgotten minor pebble in their shoe. it's not personal to them, not a home to them, and it's even less important to the listing agent. it's a small loan payment i have proven time and time again that i can pay it every month and i am a rather stable buyer, so it just feels ridiculous that it is causing so much effort for something that no one else cares about. i want this place, it's my place, it's my home, it's perfect for me, so why can't everyone just be practical and look at what is really there and pull their shit together and lets close on this condo. it needs work, it hasn't seen love in some time, and i want the keys so i can get in there to start working on making it a home. fix it up, it needs it, and i want to do it. it's just breaking my heart that it's lost just out there, and i want it so, and i can't just take care of it. i want to fix it, i want to make it a home, i want to give it love, i want to be apart of the hoa in this historic home and help preserve it, so why is everyone making it so difficult for me with good intentions to buy this place? normally it would just go to an investor and it would become a rental property and that's not good for anyone in the building and renters generally just trash places, so come on, i want my place.